Live free or die

I should probably share this piece from the prayer-meeting today. It is freakish when one recalls that only moments ago KM and i were having dinner together at Burger King, and we were relating our own experiences. We decided that we too, should let go and let God. Thus this sharing came at the opportune time. But it is hard.

Let Go & Let God

As children bring their broken toys

with tears for us to mend,

I brought my broken dreams to God

because He is my friend.

But then instead of leaving Him

in peace to work alone.

I hurry around and tried to help

with ways that were my own.

At last, i snatched them back again

and cried, "How can you be so slow?"

"My child," He said, "What could I do?

You never did let go."

~~~~~

I think i would be doing the conversation an injustice and WJ a disservice, if i didn't record my revelations with him the other day. Hence this insert.

Well as it happened, WJ msned me the night i was at eugene's place, asking "How's life been treating u bro?" Naturally i was taken aback. I think i replied him this "What a wierd question... why do u ask?" To which, he answered "Nothing much... just felt like asking." And so this sparked my conversation with him. We met for lunch, and afterward coffee the next day. And we talked. The entire afternoon.

At a time when i was really confused and vexed, this was really healing. I poured out my troubles to him, and its amazing how he seemed to understand me. Haha.. and why not? We've been long-standing friends, since those band days. Although we'd not really talked abt our lives before, until today. It is always refreshing to hear good advice from a friend u know u can trust.

~~~
Excerpt #1
wj: have u ever lied to someone and confessed?
me: lied.. of course.. who hasn't? but confess? i'd never done so.

wj: well then its gonna be hard to relate.

me: erm.. wat do u mean by confess? to God? then i haven't.

wj: no no.. to the person u told the lie to.

me(with a sudden revelation): haha.. well then yes.

wj: how do u feel, before the confession?
me: hmm.. i think i felt really bad. And i sincerely want to seek forgiveness.

wj: how do u feel then, after confessing?

me: relieved? like a burden of my chest?

wj: exactly. the same thing happens when you confess ur sins before God. Of course u must be truly repentant. And God would forgive u.

wj: you cannot kill a man, feel sorry about it, confess ur transgressions, and then run off to kill another. That's not repentance.

Excerpt #2

wj: u can believe in God and not know him, but u cannot know him and not believe in him.

(at this juncture, i repeated these words after him and ran them thru my mind a few times before i finally grasped its meaning)

wj: jeffrey.. it appears to me that u know a lot about God, but u do not know him.

me: agreed.

~~~

He reads me like a book. I'd read much and listened many. But true enough, I haven't spoken with Him. I confessed then that i didn't even know how to pray. I merely thought abt the prayer words. "It's not abt mumbling them... you've got to really mean it and trust God", WJ's words disrupted my thoughts. That night i prayed in the shower.

And so i discovered new things and re-learnt old ones. Thoughts that had already formed, but somehow got lost along the way, when ur faith is shaken. Like how i was all of a sudden stumped by questions from friends, when i knew the answer now. Actually all along, i should say

WJ's timely interception was no mere coincidence. He said that there was a stirring in his heart. Whether it is part of His plan, i can't say for sure, but what i do know is that i appreciated it. As much as i do not want to think of the person who told me this, I am suddenly reminded of this verse, "In his heart, a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." - Prov 16:9.

Unlike my mum, I was never superstitious. But sometimes we really gotta believe in omens. From the alchemist: "... God has prepared a path for everyone to follow. You just have to read the omens he left for you." I am currently reading Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist, after having been inspired(once again!) by kenneth's blog entry Energy of his wings. *sniggers*

Was supposed to meet KM for dinner at LJS initially. As i was walking from the mrt station to the place, i passed a BK employee distributing its phamplets. Thinking that dinner was to be at LJS, i did not accept the phamplet even as he handed one to me. I arrived first and found a seat at a corner facing the window. With earphones plugged into my ear, i carried on reading my book, paying little attention to a BK phamplet on the table. When KM reached, he saw the discount phamplet, and asked if i had taken it. I answered "No, it was already here when i came." Pointing to a super-savers meal, he asked if i was hungry so that we could cross over to BK next-door. I said, "I'm okay. Anything." And we were in BK the next moment.

It was there that i met this hearing-impaired AM who was selling collar pins for 5 bucks each. He left a parachuting-tweety bird on our table and i decided to buy one from him. I gestured to him to show me other designs. Secretly i wanted to find a bambi one. There wasn't and i bought the tweety. The very first one that had caught my eye. It would still make a good gift.

****
I used to wonder how one can secretly loathe someone and yet make small talk. Well, i just did that.

Disclaimer: I plagiarised the title from Mike. Haha.