A new beginning

I have decided to start a new blog, having been inspired by kenneth's blog. Yes, I have been reading his blog for some time now, especially whenever I am feeling so down and lost...

Hopefully my entries will start to flow. I realise my penning mood only comes when I am sad. My life is not nearly exciting enough for me to want to write all the time. I am not exactly a writer, you see. And I am too lazy.

Interestingly, when I conceived the title for my 1st entry here, I googled it, hoping to find a good picture to accentuate its meaning. And guess what I found. The best 10 matches were linked to Christianity sites. An irony in itself??

Nonetheless, I picked a few to look at, and stumbled upon this one which grabbed my attention. Thus I spent a few moments reading it. Here's the link >> http://www.pbc.org/dp/stedman/job/3551.html

I came to tell you

How it all began

Nothing seems to work out right

I'm broken down again

So hold me now

And say it's not forever

Maybe someday

In time

Things will go my way

Perhaps I should explain why "a new beginning" came to my mind. Firstly, its a new blog.. duh? Haha.. but also this should mark the end of my drinking fit. I intoxicated myself on fri, sat, sun, and even yesterday. Tell me about a 4-day long St. Patrick's day, Dirong!! Alcoholism is not nearly as bad as one would think, especially if it takes ur mind off certain things, washes down the loneliness and invigorates you. Get drunk but not wasted, I would say. Yet I achieved neither, even though I was more appealed to the former idea.

I've pushed to get through
The crowds in twisted souls
Just to find I'm right back here
Doing what I'm told
So take my hands
Don't let me surrender
'Cuz maybe someday
Yeah, in time
Things will go my way

Granted. Drinking IS bad for the liver. It makes the organ work overtime. Friends keep telling me and I know that, despite me earning the ignoble accolade of "steel liver". However, I'd much rather have it work OT, just to give my mind some respite. It can stop whenever my brain wants a rest. Sorry dude. Bear with it.

However, when U DRINK DON'T DRIVE!!! Admittedly, I am very much guilty of this. It is something I have always been aware of, the dangers of driving when u drink. And there has been enough education as well as deterrents from the traffic police... slogans, road blocks, jail sentences etc. But sometimes u tend to disregard them when u think u are in control behind the wheels. I was jolted to my senses when I read about the tragedy invloving a drink-driving accident in the papers today. I should stop pushing my luck further. I would never want to be involved in such a situation. Particularly when the lives of others are at stake. I would never be able to live with the guilt.

And also dun drive when u are depressed... sorry mike!!

For all the lies I've tasted
Just looking for the truth
For all the dreams I'm chasing
Well what am I to do
When everything's against me
The answers are all wrong
I'm hoping that I'll find out
It was worth it all along

I couldn't get to sleep last nite, nor the nite before. Too many thoughts have been weighing on my mind for some time now. I went for a run at abt 1am, hoping to seek some reprieve for my burdened mind. Even as I lay in the pavilion and ruminated, I can't seem to comfort myself. Each time I would have thought that I overcame it, but images and memories keep coming back to haunt me. I guess the only way for me now is to live each day anew and avoid those crippling thoughts.

So hold me now

And say it's not forever

Maybe someday

In time

Things will go my way